In the grand scheme of forgiveness, this is the easiest, but only compared to the other two types. There are many sayings based on this concept – let bygones be bygones, it’s water under the bridge, all is forgotten, all is forgiven, Hakuna Matata (no problem!). It’s part of our vernacular without us even knowing it. But, this simple concept takes practice, and that practice at first is mostly biting your tongue! It’s a challenge to simply forget when someone criticizes you or insults you, but that is what we must do sometimes. When we harbour that resentment, it affects us much more than them. Continuing to hold onto those feelings can lead to anxiety, depression, mood swings, sleep problems, more anger, more rage, high blood pressure and much more. How we feel in our mind very much affects how we feel in our body.
Your challenge this week: let bygones be bygones
If there are people that have wronged you in the past, work to forgive them. This is very hard, especially if it’s serious involving something like lies, betrayal, or money. But is it really worth the tension and stress you feel about it? You may be surprised of how good it makes you feel to let it all go. How do you forgive someone? Well, the simplest, but hardest way is to tell them face to face. You could write them an email or call them. Emailing is perhaps the easiest of those three ways. But, what if you just decide in your own mind that you forgive them? You can write out all you feel about the situation on paper then burn it in a coffee can as a symbolic gesture of letting it go. Do it every week for a month if it takes a few times to let go of all the hurt feelings!
Just remember, the person you
have hurt does not need to give
you permission. If you feel
forgiveness, then this often
enough for us.
Written by Kumar Bandyo